World Series Game 6: Adrian Beltre, Nelson Cruz Go Back-To-Back

The first six innings of this game ranked among the worst six consecutive innings of Major League baseball I've ever watched. Not in terms of excitement - they were very exciting - but in terms of quality. The pitchers were sloppy. The hitters were sloppy. The defenders and the baserunners were sloppy. The managers were sloppy. The first six innings of this game supplied an absolute treasure trove of writing material for the aftermath.

But now we're nine Cardinals outs away from forgetting about all of it.

The score was 4-4 going into the top of the seventh. First things first: Matt Holliday was no more. He was replaced by Allen Craig in left field, as Holliday injured his finger getting picked off in the bottom of the sixth.

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An alternate explanation is that Tony La Russa finally figured out that Holliday was singlehandedly trying to sabotage all the Cardinals' grand plans. He has been so bad!

So Craig prepared himself in left field and immediately got to watch Adrian Beltre do this:


Lance Lynn threw Beltre a pretty good fastball, but Beltre's a pretty good and pretty strong hitter, and just that fast, the Rangers were back in the lead.

And they weren't done. Nelson Cruz's turn:


The pitch to Cruz was less good, and he gave Albert Pujols' mammoth home run from Game 3 a run for its money. 6-4 Rangers, with the first back-to-back homers in the World Series since 2008.

Still not done! An out later, David Murphy singled, and Derek Holland took his place on the basepaths after bunting into a force. In came Octavio Dotel in relief of Lynn and Dotel uncorked a wild pitch to move Holland to second. Ian Kinsler subsequently moved Holland to home and the dugout with a single up the middle.

It's 7-4 Rangers. The Cardinals might have nine outs left in their season. And the Rangers are staring their first-ever world championship right in the boobs. In this metaphor a world championship is a woman with enormous breasts.

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