Well, baseball fans, it's Christmas Eve. If you're reading this, it means you're ignoring your family or you're a die-hard baseball fan. Or both. Either way, you're undoubtedly in the need for some baseball humor. Because no matter what moves your team has made this off-season, they haven't been enough. Your team still has holes in the rotation, holes in the lineup, holes in the bullpen, holes on the bench.
I know this because I've been reading your tweets. You know, the tweets you send to the beat writers covering your team. Where you complain about your team's inactivity. Or you complain about your team's activity. Or you propose the greatest trade ever.
Or as this Yankees fan calls it: Playing GM on Twitter.
Let's start with Cincinnati Reds fans. They've had a busy week, what with their team's trades netting starting pitcher Mat Latos and reliever Sean Marshall. But busy doesn't mean satisfied. No, following the lead of Reds beat writer John Fay, this Reds fan thought the team should have gotten more in the Marshall trade.
Sure, just throw Marlon Byrd in. It's not like he posted 2 fWAR in a season in which he had his face smashed by a fastball, or anything.
This next Reds fan has no need for Marlon Byrd. He's got the solution for exactly what ails the Reds.
Yes, Juan Pierre is a free agent and may be available to the Reds. I suppose he could lead off, if the Reds want to hand that job to a 34 year old who had a .293 wOBA last season. And play left field? That sort of depends on your definition of "play." If it means getting to balls hit toward left field, catching them, and throwing them to the correct cut-off man, I'm not sure a player who had a -9.2 UZR in left field is your guy.
But enough about the Reds.
Cleveland Indians fans are feeling somewhat optimistic about 2012. Their rotation is set after the Tribe acquired Derek Lowe from the Braves early in the off-season. The question is the offense. This fan tweeted his plan to Indians beat writer Jordan Bastian.
Hmm. If the Indians stay healthy, won't Sizemore and Hafner be the good bats? I mean look what Hafner did in just 91 games last season: .280/.361/.449 for a wRC+ of 123. And if they're not healthy -- or are healthy but don't produce -- how will they fetch a good bat in a mid-season trade? May have to re-think this one.
As optimistic as Indians fans may be, Atlanta Braves fans are restless. There have been a lot of trade rumors involving the Braves, but not much in the way of deals. That can be an advantage, too. Blank slate. Dream big. Like this Braves fan in a tweet to Braves beat writer David O'Brien.
Yeah, that's kind of impossible. In fact, without even looking it up on Baseball Reference's Play Index, I'm pretty certain there's never been a major league shortstop -- much less an excellent defensive shortstop -- who's gone an entire season without striking out with runners in scoring position. Even Jose Reyes struck out six percent of his at-bats with runners in scoring position last season. And he's pretty busy now, with the Miami Marlins, and all.
Speaking of impossible, try calming down New York Yankees fans. The Yankees have been unusually quiet during the hot stove, so far, and Yankees fans are not amused. Here's a recent tweet to Yankees beat writer Mark Feinsand.
Ah, yes. The failed recipe that delivered 95 wins in 2010 and 97 wins in 2011. Feinsand did his best to put the plight of Yankees fans in perspective, but it didn't quite work out they way he intended.
Which brings us to the Boston Red Sox. The Fenway faithful are still smarting from the team's epic collapse in September, the dissembling of the clubhouse, and the departures of manager Terry Francona and GM Theo Epstein. They want answers and they want them now!
Except for this optimistic Sox fan.
Hope springs eternal.