The Miami Marlins spent the last decade socking Cheetos and dollar bills under their mattress. The Cheetos were for their new uniforms. The dollar bills were for Jose Reyes. The All-Star shortstop agreed to a deal with the Miami Marlins, according to Ken Rosenthal. The deal is for six years and $106 million.

Reyes was the prize middle infielder on the free-agent market, and he essentially acts as a third-base upgrade, with incumbent shortstop Hanley Ramirez likely shifting over to third base. There is also the option of trading Ramirez, but considering the Marlins' acute need at third base and ownership's affection for Ramirez, that seems unlikely. 

Reyes had his best year as a pro in 2011, as the 28-year-old led the National League in batting average and triples. His .877 OPS and 143 OPS+ were both career highs, though he missed 36 games because of injuries. Ramirez's health has been a concern, as he's been on the disabled list in each of the last three seasons after four straight years with 700+ plate appearances.

The Marlins are stealing All-Stars from the Mets, who can't compete financially. When your dog comes up to you and meows tonight, just know that this is what started the end times.