(John Mozeliak sits at his desk. There's a KNOCK.)

John Mozeliak: Come in.

(Enter Albert Pujols, with a big friendly smile.)

Albert Pujols: Heyyyyyyyyy, buddy!  How's it going?

Mozeliak: Just fine, Albert.

Pujols: Cool. Cool.  (Beat.)  Liiiiiiiisten.  That offer you made, back in February--

Mozeliak: Nope.

Pujols: No.  I didn't think so.  Okay.  Cool.  Thanks. 

(Pujols limps off.)

Flourish.  Exeunt.  Curtain.

(And yes, I know he'll be fine, and have a great year, and all that. But he's hurt, and he's turning 46 next January.)