MLB Power Rankings: Yankees, Mets Together At The Top

ST PETERSBURG FL - SEPTEMBER 13: Pitcher C.C. Sabathia #52 of the New York Yankees pitches against the Tampa Bay Rays during the game at Tropicana Field on September 13 2010 in St. Petersburg Florida. (Photo by J. Meric/Getty Images)

If you want a real power ranking, here you go. It's right on the first page. This power ranking is based solely on sitcoms or television comedies that were set in the home of each team.

Please note that these rankings are super-scientific and inarguable. So please don't attempt to evaluate these objective rankings on your own. The algorithm doesn't like it when people mock it.

Rank Team Comments                           
1/2 Yankees/Mets "Seinfeld" and "I Love Lucy" -- The sitcom equivalent of 35 combined World Series wins for one city.
3 Red Sox "Cheers" -- Bonus points awarded for the main character also playing for the team.
4 Angels "Arrested Development" -- Arguably the funniest show on this list, but points were taken away because it doesn't really have anything to do with Anaheim proper. Neither, apparently, do the L.A. Angels.
5 Twins "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" -- One of the greatest small-market success stories in the history of the medium.
6 Brewers "Happy Days" - The original spin-off factory; a good show before a slow, gradual decline that nobody could trace to a single, easily noticed episode.
7 Dodgers "Brady Bunch" -- Tons to choose from in L.A., but this one is the right mix of nostalgia and pure crap, which is kind of the definition of a classic sitcom.
8 Phillies "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" -- Not quite a sitcom, but the alternative was the opening credits for "Fresh Prince of Bel Air." And, of course, there's this.
9 Reds "WKRP Cincinnati" -- The Tony Perez of sitcoms: not as good as some people will tell you, but still better than 95% of its peers.
10 Marlins "Golden Girls" -- A stretch this high, but there has to be some reason why I can type Rue McClanahan, Estelle Getty, Bea Arthur, and Betty White without checking the spelling (and it's not because of the framed 8x10 on my desk).
11/12 White Sox/Cubs "The Bob Newhart Show" and "Good Times" -- Would be higher if it wasn't for the unbelievable amount of awful TV the city was responsible for after those two: "Family Matters," "Perfect Strangers," "Joanie Loves Chachi," "Webster," and "Punky Brewster." Those aren't sitcoms; those are war crimes.
13 Mariners "Frasier" -- Good as far as sitcoms go. Picked up on waivers from Boston.
14 Pirates "Mr. Belvedere" -- Not especially funny, but Bob Uecker was one of the stars, so this is probably too low. Plus: droll English butlers!
15 Rockies "Mork and Mindy" -- Cheating a little, as this show was set in Boulder, but that's close enough. If playing a drinking game while watching "Dynasty" qualified, Colorado would be in the top ten.
16 Indians "Drew Carey Show" -- Ryan Stiles is the Shin-Soo Choo of comedy. Just as Choo would be a star if he played in New York, so would Stiles be a star if he were a regular on "Seinfeld."
17 Blue Jays "Twitch City" -- Can't rank it higher without having seen an episode; can't rank it lower because the "You Might Also Like" tips from Amazon are all my favorite shows. This could be in the top ten once I see a few episodes.
18 Royals "Mama's Family" -- Not quite Kansas City, but close enough. You can start to see the list tipping around this point.
19 Diamondbacks "Alice" -- This was the funniest show ever based on a Martin Scorcese movie if you don't count the "Baby Goodfellas" Saturday morning cartoon.
20 Orioles "Roc" -- Not a great show, but it's cool that they broadcast live shows. Obviously, that was a factoid from the Wikipedia page because I have absolutely no memory of this show. The next time you feel bad for knowing Nyjer Morgan's 2009 WAR, remember that someone felt compelled to create a "Roc" page on Wikipedia.
21 Nationals "Murphy Brown" -- As soon as your parents sign in to AOL, they'll let me have it for ranking this show so low.
22 Athletics "Hangin' With Mr. Cooper" -- The apostrophe in place of a "g" dropped this one five spots.
23 Tigers "Home Improvement" -- A good screening question on your eHarmony profile would have to do with the enjoyment of this show. It was really, really popular, after all. Those people need to be isolated.
24 Cardinals "The John Larroquette Show" -- I remember the five minutes that everyone thought John Larroquette was funny as if they were 20 or 30 years ago.
25 Astros "Brothers" -- Could have gone with "Reba," but the idea of a Michael Strahan-based sitcom is as funny as anything the below shows have ever done.
26/27 Padres/Braves "Major Dad" and "Designing Women" -- Joined together because a) their stars were married, and b) they were equally unfunny.
28 Rangers "Flo" -- Fort Worth is as close as it gets for the Rangers. This was a spin-off of something already at the bottom half of this list, so it's kind of like the Brandon Wood of sitcoms.
29 Rays Nothing -- No television comedies have ever been based in Tampa. It is apparently the least funny city in America. The Encyclopedia of Colloquial Humor credits 402 different jokes to authors who lived in Tampa. By coincidence, each one was a knock-knock joke, and the punchline to every one was "Margaret, I'm thinking I should get that doorbell fixed."
30 Giants "Full House" -- On behalf of the entire Bay Area, I would like to apologize. Every internet argument between Giants and Dodgers fans ends with this picture.

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