Home Run Derby 2011: David Ortiz Disappointingly Unspectacular

As David Ortiz steps up to conclude the American League team's first round (ed. note: remember there are teams, which is important), Andrew McCutchen is sitting at the ESPN broadcast booth, chatting with Chris Berman. McCutchen says it was a great feeling when he found out he had been named to the All-Star team, and I'm sure it was, but I have to imagine it's like being named Marshall's starting quarterback because their previous starting quarterback died in a plane crash with everybody else. I'm pretty sure we have enough All-Stars to make three teams. Can you imagine a three-team All-Star Game? The innings would take forever! And the field would look different. That would be a very unusual baseball game.

Ortiz hasn't caught fire yet, and he just huddled with his teammates, who were presumably telling him he needs to get better because he is killing them. Aaaaand the round is now over, with Ortiz hitting five home runs. It was nice to get that little huddle break. It was like the home run derby equivalent of a coaching visit to the mound, and I know how much we all love coaching visits to the mound.

Ortiz is in position to make the second round for now, as Matt Kemp, Jose Bautista and Rickie Weeks have been eliminated. But Prince Fielder will close the first round with a chance to do some super important, earth-changing damage.

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