Adrian Gonzalez steps up with nine homers, needing to hit just one to officially eliminate David Ortiz from final round contention. Gonzalez proceeds to make four consecutive outs before finally dashing Ortiz's hopes for a repeat. Given that Ortiz was thus beaten by a teammate of his, this is some pretty good sportsmanship:

Unless that Gatorade is poisoned. Gonzalez is on fire now, by the way, with nine home runs on his last ten swings. I guess that Gatorade was not poisoned. Somehow Chris Berman has resisted the temptation to call him en fuego although it's possible that he did say it and I was just typing too loudly. I find this unlikely, because I think it's impossible to type louder than Chris Berman's voice.

Gonzalez is hitting them out everywhere. Right field. Left field. Center field, which is not easy in Arizona. He nearly just murdered a cameraman, which I would have .giffed for you guys in short order, but alas.

Gonzalez's round ends with 11 dingers, tying him with Cano at 20 combined. Prince Fielder will now need to hit at least 15 home runs in order to stay alive. He'll probably want to stay away from Matt Holliday. And Matt Kemp and Rickie Weeks, too. Boy did Fielder choose a terrible group of guys. They all suck! They all suck at this!