They tell you that the All-Star Game starts at 8pm Eastern but they are lying to you. It is a trick. The All-Star Game starts much much later than that, and it is at 8pm Eastern that the players and coaches begin assembling along the baselines for pre-game introductions. All TV shows should do this. NBC should tell everybody that Community begins at 8, except Community actually begins at 8:30, and at 8 the cast members stand in a line and wave at the camera while their names are spoken aloud. (ed note: TV should not do this.) It's important for All-Stars to get this kind of individual recognition after receiving the individual recognition of being named All-Stars.

Anyway, the introductions weren't particularly interesting, aside from the fact that the Arizona fans in attendance booed everyone. They booed Dodgers players, they booed Yankees players, they booed Brewers players...they basically booed everybody, except for Kirk Gibson, who is of course a postseason legend for the Dodgers. David Robertson got booed so loud you'd think the people in attendance actually have some idea who David Robertson is, and David Robertson is some kind of violent criminal.

When Joe Buck advanced to Miguel Cabrera while naming the AL All-Stars, he called him Felix Hernandez. Joe Buck is not not racist. Also when they announced All-Star Ryan Vogelsong the entire stadium collapsed and the event was canceled.

Following the introductions of the reserves, we had the introductions of the starters, and following the introductions of the starters we got a sneak preview of some new show that is going to be on FOX or is already on FOX, and it has Simon Cowell in it evaluating the talent of others. Simon Cowell has a good eye for performance All-Stars! Do you get my joke?

The national anthem was performed by Jordin Sparks, who I always confuse with Bubba Sparxxx.

I have written this entire blog post during the commercial break following Jordin Sparks' national anthem.