Joaquín Andújar said it best.
Kottaras, the Brewers' backup (and rarely used) catcher, entered the contest with 13 home runs and one triple in 454 career plate appearances.
In the second inning, Kottaras flied out. (Yawn.)
In the fourth inning, Kottaras hit a solo home run, a line drive that carried into the first row of right-field seats. (Well played, sir.)
In the sixth inning, Kottaras led off with a triple over the center fielder's head and to the far reaches of Tal's Hill. (Wait, what?)
In the seventh inning, Kottaras singled to right field. (Uh, guys? You might want to watch this...)
In the ninth inning, Kottaras drove another ball past the center fielder ... and this one bounced over the wall for an automatic double. (Say what?)
Kottaras thus became the first major leaguer with a cycle this season, as the last to accomplish the feat was Colorado's Carlos Gonzalez more than 13 months ago. And Kottaras now has hit for the cycle more often (1) than every San Diego Padre (0) and Florida Marlin (0) in major-league history.
Of course, Kottaras probably isn't the most unlikely cycler in history. He certainly isn't the first slow catcher with just moderate power to hit for the cycle. If you're making a list, though? Of the players who shocked the hell out of anyone paying attention? George Kottaras is within spitting distance of the top.