I adapted that headline from the actual headline of Tyler Kepner's excellent reportage:

Fielder’s Options Are as Narrow as His Talent is Vast

Now, I’m sorry to keep hammering on this point but I was somewhat astounded that Kepner never mentions in his (again) excellent piece that Fielder himself is vast. I just don’t think any analysis of Fielder’s continuing availability that doesn’t at least mention the possibility that Fielder’s personal dimensions are a concern for teams is incomplete.*

* Go ahead, try to diagram that sentence.

Kepner got Scott Boras — Fielder’s agent — on the phone yesterday, and of course Boras doesn’t disappoint. Might be the best talker since Orson Welles …

"It’s a rare moment of opportunity for teams, because there are normally eight clubs or so that are pursuing a young superstar player," Boras said. "This is an opportunity for clubs that are outside of those eight to bring that type of player to their city."

With spring training about a month away, and most teams having finished the bulk of their off-season work, time would seem to be running out. Boras has found deals worth more than $100 million in January — for Carlos Beltran and Matt Holliday — but never this late.

"This is a negotiation that is very personal to a star player who’s a slugger," Boras said. "The traditional negotiation periods are not relevant to these types of players, and the timing of the negotiations should not create any inferences, positive or negative, about the status or value of Prince Fielder."

Yeah, whatever. We promise to not infer anything about Prince Fielder’s star value. Which is of course considerable. As are his pants!*

* see what I did there?

A month from now, Prince Fielder is going to be an exceptionally wealthy young man. But maybe not as wealthy as he thought.