Smoothie: Hey baby, wanna come up to my place to see my collection of Federal League umpire memorabilia?
Lady: Oh right. I know how this works – you bait me with that promise, but there’s really no collection at all.
Smoothie: No; honest! I just chucked 600 clams at a cabinet photo of Ollie Anderson.
Lady: I’ll get my coat.
Apart from Anderson, former player Spike Shannon (seen below) was also a Federal League umpire, as were Lee Fyfe, Bert Maxwell, Joe O'Brien, Bill Brennan, William Finneran, Fred Westervelt, James Johnstone, Harry Howell and William McCormick.