Andy Pettitte threw 12 pitches in the first inning, nine for strikes. He busted right-handers in with cutters, kept his breaking pitches low in the zone, and teased with change-ups away. I've had that paragraph saved in a text file for eight years, and all I have to do is change the number of pitches. What do I do with the time I save? Well, what don't I do?

But if Pettitte followed the successful-Pettitte template, Doug Fister went way off-script. The control maven started the game with a four-pitch walk to Derek Jeter, and after getting Ichiro and Robinson Cano to fly out, Fister walked Mark Teixeira and Raul Ibanez.

That loaded the bases ...

...

... for Alex Rodriguez.

You kind of figured that's when the reboot sequence would begin, and Fister would start painting. A-Rod figured that too, which is why he was swinging at the first pitch. He hit a line drive!

Alex Rodriguez isn't having a ton of fun out there right now.

-- Grant