Brazil stunned Panama in the World Baseball Classic classifier, and the resulting article had a few gems. The most noticeable one was the part about "manager Barry Larkin." I guess I missed that news, but Brazil is under the tutelage of a Hall of Famer. Cool.

But nothing can compare to this one, which might be my favorite quote of all-time this morning:

Using a mix of his cutter, changeup, curveball and fastball, Fernandes silenced a lineup that featured such stars like Mets shortstop Ruben Tejada, Phillies All-Star catcher Carlos Ruiz, Carlos Lee and Ruben Rivera.