Sources: Yankees and Pirates hope to take their proposed Burnett deal to the Commissioner later today, for approval
I know what that really means -- there are e-mails or faxes, possibly a phone call or six, to let the MLB office know how much money is exchanging hands. But the idea of the Yankees and Pirates taking the deal to Bud Selig is more interesting to me.
Selig: We have known each other many years, but this is the first time you've come to me for counsel or for help. I can't remember the last time you invited me to your stadium for a cup of coffee, even though my Brewers are in your own division. But let's be frank here. You never wanted my friendship. And you feared to be in my debt.
Pirates: What are you talking about? I come to you all the time. You sign the revenue-sharing checks.
Selig: I understand. You found paradise in Pittsburgh.
Pirates: Wait, what?
Selig: You have a good trade, you want to make a good team. Now you come and say "Bud Selig, give me the authority to accept millions of dollars so we can acquire A.J. Burnett for some reason." But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me "Commissioner." You come into my office on the day Wally Pipp was born, and you ask me to do think about A.J. Burnett - and money.
Yeah, it's a stretch, but you can totally picture him in a chair, stroking a cat while he says it.
From CBS Sports, it sounds like the deal is a formality at this point:
The reported A.J. Burnett-to-Pittsburgh deal is nearing completion, CBSSports.com insider Jon Heyman has learned. Barring something unforeseen, the trade will be completed within the next one to three days. From there, Burnett will need to pass a physical while Major League Baseball will need to approve the deal.
Barring something unforseen?
Pirates Intern: Whoa, did you check out this Burnett guy's stats last year?
Neal Huntington: Holy crap. Ho-lee crap. Why didn't anyone tell me about this? What site is that? Baseball ... Reference? Well, I'll be.
Pedro Alvarez enters the room
Pedro Alvarez: You wanted to see me, Hunt?
Huntington: NO! I mean, you're fine. You're not going anywhere. You were never going anywhere in a trade today. Not at all. You're excused. Keith, get the Yankees on the line.
And now that I've hit my fake-conversation quota for the week, I'll see you on Monday. When A.J. Burnett will presumably be a Pirate.