As you’ve no doubt heard because it’s the biggest story since man landed on the f’ing moon, the Boston Red Sox are getting a pitcher named Chris Carpenter as compensation for losing Theo Epstein to the Chicago Cubs.

Yeah, yeah … Not that Chris Carpenter. Got it. But the one the Cubs got is pretty interesting, if largely because he throws really really hard. From John Sickels’ report:

After spending most of his career as a starter, he moved to the bullpen in Triple-A last year and got hammered, posting a 6.53 ERA in 30 innings for Iowa. He fanned 28, but he also walked 23, and he walked seven more during a 10-inning trial with the Cubs. However, Carpenter made significant progress with his command in the Arizona Fall League, where he posted a 18/2 K/BB with a 3.29 ERA over 14 innings in a hitting-dominant league.

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If his Arizona Fall League performance is any indication, he could be quite effective in the majors in 2012.

According to Baseball America, Carpenter was the Cubs’ 13th-best prospect. In John’s book, he gave Carpenter a C+ grade. But minor-league relief pitchers almost always take a hit in these things, because they’re minor-league relief pitchers. As relief-pitching prospects go, Carpenter’s actually a pretty good one. If only because he sometimes hits 100 on the speed gun.

The odds are against him. But they’re more against guys who don’t throw 100. Carpenter’s obviously not as valuable as Theo Epstein. But at least the Sox are getting somebody who might actually help them.