I definitely shouldn't write at 3 in the morning. Or I shouldn't have written this, anyway.
Erasmo Ramirez is, of course, not a "little lefty" at all; in fact he's a right-handed pitcher. Which I did know, before midnight. In fact, that's sort of the point: when players are shorter than their listed height, they're usually right-handers because baseball, for some reason, doesn't mind short(er) lefties as much.
Also, the Mariners' media guide (and their website) does list Ramirez as being 5'11", not the six feet even I found on the Internet. (My guess is still 5'10" in bare feet, but potato potahto and all that).
Many thanks to the M's p.r. people for pointing out my shoddy work.