You. The person reading this right now. You don't expect the Miguel Cabrera-at-third experiment to work. I am not a sorcerer; I am not rummaging through your thoughts. I just took an educated guess.
Over at Baseball Prospectus, the fantastic Ben Lindbergh digs into the inarguable (that Miguel Cabrera is, like Leon, getting laaaarrrrger) and the scientific (digging through baseball history to see when other players went to a more difficult position when they were 29 or older). The result is a list of players that doesn't exactly bode well for Cabrera:
A couple factors set Cabrera apart from most members of this list. For one thing, Cabrera is probably the worst fielder to attempt this switch: he’s already cost his teams over seven wins in the field, including almost three at first base in Detroit over the past three seasons. For another, he’s not making a simple switch from first to left or left to right.
There is one comp: Kevin Youkilis. The problem with the comparison is that Youkilis was a good first baseman, whereas Cabrera wasn't. There really isn't a perfect comparison for Miggy at third base. But if the switch works, it'll be something as surprising as Rick Ankiel returning as a center fielder, or Bronson Arroyo singing something that you'd listen to of your own volition. It would be a stunning turn of events.