The Cincinnati Reds recently named Aroldis Chapman the team's closer. I don't know how you would celebrate a promotion, but Aroldis Chapman evidently chose to celebrate his promotion by driving really fast. No, I take that back, I don't know why Aroldis Chapman chose to drive really fast, but here we are anyway. From WLWT:

Cincinnati Reds pitcher Aroldis Chapman was arrested after he was caught driving 93 mph in Grove City early Monday, police said.

Police said Chapman, 24, was pulled over after he was recorded speeding in a black 2010 Mercedes S63 on Interstate 71 North near Interstate 270 about 12:42 a.m. Monday.

Chapman was also found to have a suspended Kentucky driver's license. He was taken in, and then he was released, and he has a court date on June 6.

If you want a silver lining, Chapman is not the latest baseball player to be arrested for DUI. But, of course, he was still doing something incredibly dangerous, so it's not like Chapman deserves praise for his good judgment. If you are thinking of a velocity joke right now, congratulations, you're just like everybody else. We're all snowflakes - identical snowflakes.