Did you know that Giants pitcher Matt Cain has a name that's convenient and versatile for purposes of wordplay? I bet you did not, but after Cain threw a perfect game against the Astros in San Francisco Wednesday night, headline editors seized the opportunity they'd been given. Below, a limited collection of results, culled from the Internet. I would've culled from newspapers, too, but none of them have arrived yet on my doorstep. Great sustainable business model in the 21st century, newspapers.

From ESPN:

From CBS:

From Sports Illustrated:

(This isn't a Cain pun, but it is a pun, so.)

From MLB.com:

From elsewhere on MLB.com:

From still elsewhere on MLB.com:

From CNN:

Oh, geez, it's like it's not even important to them. Well excuse me, your majesty, sorry to bother you with perfection. I'll let you get back to talking about how it's important to express yourself to your doctor if he or she recommends something of which you're uncertain. Like that's something anybody needs to know.