It's a mess. It's just a grand old mess, friend. But you and I are going to sit down and sort it out.
Monday evening in Omaha, NE, several fans ran on the field on the same time. My associate, Brian Floyd, reported seven. There were, in fact, only six field-runners, but depending on how we choose to look at it, there may have been seven field-runnings. We'll get to that.
The atmosphere was so chaotic that our citizen journalists were only able to capture video documentation of three of said field-runners. Here they are:
To the video:
I would like to extend a personal note of thanks to YouTube subscriber eforcemanwonder, who has delivered what is perhaps the most interestingly-filmed piece of footage we have yet come across in our field-running studies. The camera sways and pivots from shot to shot, in a manner that resembles Radiohead's "Karma Police" video, before finally closing with a pan through the crowd and a hold on the crescent moon. Delightful.
I do regret that I was only able to chart the trajectories of a few of the field-runnings, but what we have is what we have. Let's examine them individually.
FIELD-RUNNER NO. 1.
This gentleman left his field at left-center in a dead sprint, and succeeded in his effort to thump a foot or two on the infield dirt. He then made a U-Turn and headed back to left field, where he was taken down. Security personnel lifted him up and began to escort him off the field.
Apparently, the security team in Omaha does not believe in handcuffs, and let this enterprising gentleman walk freely beside them. He took advantage of this opportunity by suddenly blasting into another dead sprint, this time running directly back to his seat in left-center. And he almost did it! If we look closely enough, we can see someone in the stands extend his hand to help him up over the fence.
This is historic, folks. We are in the second season of our field-running studies, and this is the first time we have seen someone escape after being apprehended. Remarkable. To the stats:
Estimated run time: 33 seconds (22 seconds in first run, 11 seconds in post-apprehension run)
Estimated run distance: 675 feet
Indignant gestures: 2 (escaped after being apprehended, attempted to scale wall)
Security guards in play: 8 (4 during first run, 4 in second)
And look, everyone! We're in for a special treat! Minda Haas was on the scene to photograph the proceedings, and she delivered what is perhaps the greatest field-storming photo we've ever come across:
Lookin' good, pal.
FIELD-RUNNER NO. 2.
This gentleman was not so successful. He certainly was elusive, however. Thanks to some fancy footwork, he managed to stay on his feet for roughly eight seconds despite not moving more than two feet in any direction. That's talent.
Estimated run time: 23 seconds
Estimated run distance: 75 feet
Indignant gestures: 0
Security guards in play: 2
FIELD-RUNNER NO. 3.
This was not the first female field-stormer we have come across, but it's certainly relatively uncommon for a woman to take the field. Her run had some distance, and after swinging right for a wide evasion, she voluntarily surrendered in dead-center.
Along the way, she grabbed the rear end of at least one player. We would certainly not condone this act if the gender roles were reversed, so we cannot condone it here. I believe you have lost the plot, ma'am: The thing about field-runners is that they are on the defensive. If they invade someone else's space, the field-runnings become something else entirely -- something we cannot celebrate. Notice how those who are tackled never fight back. They don't punch, they don't kick. This behavior runs contrary to the spirit of field-running, and as such, I'm afraid I cannot file her statistics in the registry.
Well. Enough scolding! This was an historic evening in the world of field-running. The map we ended up with resembles a cardboard yarn puzzle completed by a child who is not interested in following instructions. And I would not have it any other way.