Prince Fielder has stepped in now, batting for the American League after batting for the National League in 2011. Last year, the Derby finals came down to a pair of American Leaguers, and a major reason why Fielder signed with the Tigers as a free agent was because he wanted to be on the winning side of one of these things for a change. The Marlins simply never had a chance.

Fielder hit a home run into one of the fountains, which is a long distance away and which also polluted the water with a baseball. Buster Olney immediately interviewed Justin Verlander on the sidelines, and Verlander remarked that he gets to see Fielder and Miguel Cabrera play "home run derby every day" in batting practice. Well gosh sorry that you're not impressed Mr. I'm Impossible To Impress. Fielder and Cabrera get to see you play all the time too, I bet they're over it. "Oh wow another 100 mile-per-hour fastball, way to jazz it up." Isn't it just the lamest thing when incredible players are consistently incredible? No wonder Kate Upton won't get with Justin Verlander. He sees something amazing once and the second time he's like "ehh".

Oh crap Fielder hit five(?) home runs and now Matt Kemp is already almost finished being terrible. I don't know why they even invite Matt Kemp to Home Run Derbies or anything. After this miserable performance Kemp should probably stop being invited to anything. I guess they could invite him to prison for the crime of making us watch him suck.