Prince Fielder out-homered Jose Bautista 16 to 13 through two rounds. Then those totals were erased, and Prince Fielder out-homered Jose Bautista 12 to 7 in the final. Which means that Prince Fielder is our 2012 MLB Home Run Derby champion! Which means that the 2012 MLB Home Run Derby is over, and at this moment we are a full year away from the 2013 MLB Home Run Derby! If a Home Run Derby even exists next summer. People got all up in arms about that laughing-at-Robinson-Cano thing and maybe Major League Baseball might take the over-sensitive approach and cancel the whole thing.

Last year, Fielder hit nine home runs and came up shy of qualifying for the final. Bautista hit four home runs and came up shy of qualifying for the second round. From them, we learn that it's valuable to have prior Home Run Derby experience. From Robinson Cano, we learn that it's not valuable to have prior Home Run Derby experience. The American League team out-homered the National League team 61 to 21. Leaving out Cano, the American League team out-homered the National League team 61 to 21. That makes Robinson Cano one shitty teammate and one hell of a captain.

Fielder was leaning back in his chair when Bautista made his tenth out of the final round. Fielder remained in the same position, hands behind his head, and he only embraced Sandy Guerrero when Guerrero informed him that the tournament was over. Pretty much. Chris Berman was talking about how all the fans were on their feet by the end, but it's hard to tell the difference between enthusiasm about the on-field event and enthusiasm about leaving.

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Stay tuned for the Taco Bell All-Star Legends and Celebrity softball game. Announced by Bill Simmons? What in the shit? That's even worse than live-blogging! I will not be live-blogging. I'll watch just long enough to see if anyone invited Erik Per Sullivan.