You know, if you start getting your soupbone in shape right now, you should be ready enough by the time camps open to demand a tryout with a major league team. With that in mind, here's a mint-in-box Return-A-Ball pitchback net.

Your journey from lolling everyman to bona fide baseball hurler is a simple, four-step process:

1. Purchase this item

2. Practice, practice, practice

3. Have successful tryout with big league club

4. Sign lucrative, multi-year contract

The fifth step, which I am loath to mention since I assume everyone knows this, is sending me a cut of your earnings for pointing you in the right direction.