Remember that last offseason, the A's agreeing to a two-year deal with Coco Crisp was kind of a head-scratching move. After spending the first part of the offseason trading away young pitchers like Trevor Cahill and Gio Gonzalez, it looked like the A's were in full rebuilding mode.
Nope. They were laying the groundwork for a division title and a funny dance craze. That would be "the Bernie", and it's what Coco Crisp is doing in this HORRIFYING BOBBLETORSO that's going to be given away by the A's on June 29.
As a grown-ass man with a collection of these dolls, I'm starting to realize just how creepy they are. There are a bunch of them behind me right now. Gaylord Perry is just staring at me, givin' me the petroleum-rubbed willies.
For some reason, though, the dead-eyed stare of a bobbletorso is extra creepy. Who'd've thunk it? It's somewhere between epileptic and sexually suggestive, so maybe that's the problem.
(I still want one.)
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