I mean, if you just wanted to get me something for being me, though, you have the perfect chance. There's a little auction coming up, and you could just be the sweetest and pick me up a little something. From the Associated Press:

In its book "Baseball Americana," the Library of Congress calls the item the first dated baseball card, handed out to supporters and opposing teams in a gesture of bravado from the brash Brooklynites, who were dominant and won their league championships in 1861, 1864 and 1865.

All you'd have to do is part with a little scratch:

It's impossible to predict what kind of price the card will fetch because of its rarity, he said, but he guessed the winning bid will fall somewhere between $50,000 and $500,000.

I'm also assuming you're Paul Allen. C'mon, Mr. Allen. I made you laugh that one time with that thing I wrote, maybe. Just one baseball card is all I ask.