The life of a baseball writer is a life of being constantly wrong. Constantly. About everything. I thought the Brewers were going to be better than the Pirates. I picked Aaron Hicks to win Rookie of the Year. Everything is wrong, wrong wrong. You're here for the cat GIFs, and I appreciate that.
But when you're right, you can take off your shirt and challenge everyone to a fight. That's written into the BBWAA bylaws and, while I'm not a member, I respect that bylaw. The zombie Yankees are back again. They're dragging a half-chewed leg behind them, and they're moaning something about brains or tradition or rings or Kevin Maas. And they're two games out of a playoff spot.
Two games out of a playoff spot.
Think about Alex Rodriguez hitting a series-winning homer.
Alex Rodriguez holding one side of the trophy, Derek Jeter holding the other.
Alfonso Soriano taking five walks in Game 7.
Chris Stewart driving in Lyle Overbay to tie the g…
Less than a month ago, I wrote about Alex Rodriguez becoming a postseason hero.
Alfonso Soriano is going to whatever, and Derek Jeter is going to I dunno, and somehow the Yankees are going to be in that play-in game. I don't believe in the baseball gods, but I'm scared of them. When it doesn't happen, I'll stop worrying. Until then, I'm going to assume that the Yankees will always get some sort of weird-but-good break.
Alfonso Soriano is whatevering. Derek Jeter hasn't I-dunnoed yet, but he will. Mark Reynolds is good now because of course he is. In the comments of that A-Rod piece, we had a regular commenter give me the what-for.
Let’s get some perspective here, Brisbee.
Because the Yankees didn't look like a good team. And they still have lineup holes. CC Sabathia is having a depressing season. Half of these guys are, like, 50. The other half are broken. Yet it's the 4th of September and the Yankees are 2½ games away from a playoff spot. They have 25 games left. Of those, 11 are against last-place teams. Bad, bad teams. The Giants, Astros, White Sox, and Blue Jays. That's the Mt. Rushmore of 2013 sadness.
The rest of those games, though, are against good teams. Good teams who happen to be division rivals. Seven against the Red Sox, four against the Orioles, and three against the Rays. So if there's hope, Yankee-hating baseball fans, a plurality of that hope rests on the shoulders of the Red Sox. That's almost fun. But it's terrifying at the same time.
The Yankees are coming for us. And it makes no sense. Their highest-paid player was suspended for the year, and he was a shell of himself anyway, so whatever. Except he's contributing. Their most-beloved player was out for most of the year, and he was a shell of himself anyway. But he'll contribute. Ivan Nova is vintage Roy Halladay now, and Hiroki Kuroda is Cliff Lee. The Yankees have castoffs the 2005 Pirates wouldn't mess around with.
They're 2½ games out of the playoffs.
They could ruin the season for the Rays or A's, who have an A-Rod-sized payroll, but for 25 players. They could ruin the season for the Tigers or Rangers, who have pushed the rock up the hill once again, hoping it doesn't roll back on them. The Pirates. Oh, no, the Pirates.
The odds are still against the Yankees, but the odds were against them getting this far. At this point, the Yankees are proof that you're the only person in the world, and that your hopes and thoughts and fears control everything. Right when I start thinking there's no way the Yankees can win a spot, I think "White Sox, Giants, Blue Jays, Astros." They have a shot. It's amazing. It was unlikely when the season started, it was unlikelier when they traded for Vernon Wells, and everything should have snowballed from there. But the snowball started going uphill. Nothing makes sense. Nothing makes sense.
The New York Yankees are 2½ games out of the playoffs.
Alex Rodriguez would play in those playoffs.
For more about these storm-bringing Yankees, please visit SB Nation's Pinstriped Bible.