Baseball Nation: All Posts by Jeff Sullivan

The recent history of the Giants off the top of my head

2013-05-13T22:00:06Z

Not long ago, when Grant told me he had another baby on the way, I thought to myself, "that is very uninteresting." But then he proceeded to the part of the email that involved me and I agreed to help relieve some of his blogging burden by submitting a guest piece, which is what this is. However, this is being done pro bono, as the Europeans say, and I already have enough on my plate, and plus I'm already an Internet celebrity so it's not like I have to seize this opportunity to write for a big new audience. So while this is indeed a voluntary guest piece for McCovey Chronicles, I am unabashedly mailing it in, and now please join me as I chronicle the last 20 years or so of the Giants franchise off the top of my head because dammit I'm tired of doing research today.

The Giants formally came into existence somewhere in the early 1990s when I found a replica home jersey at Ross for ten dollars. Ross was great for this - though you could never predict what they'd have, they always had the odd replica jersey available for ten dollars, which is how I also came to own a Manitoba Moose jersey, and a reversible Larry Centers Arizona Cardinals jersey. But this is about the Giants, and not Ross's sweet sweet deals, at least at that particular location in San Diego, and that was the afternoon I started giving a shit about the Giants. I wanted to know about the team whose name I'd be wearing sometimes, or as it turned out almost not at all ever.

One of those years the Giants were pretty much the best team in baseball but somehow they didn't make the playoffs even though they won more than a hundred games. It was probably either 1992 or 1993, and I think those Giants had Barry Bonds, or, as he would be nicknamed over the course of the next decade, "The Giants." The Giants were great but not great enough and that would set the tone for the next while, when the Giants would continue to be not great enough. For a little while after being great they were not very good, but that was the Strike Era and for some reason I typed that as if it counts as a valid excuse. I'm pretty sure the Giants haven't won as many games in a season as they won in 1992 or 1993 when they missed the playoffs, but they've still made the playoffs a bunch since. Sometimes life isn't fair, and sometimes life changes the rules surrounding the MLB playoff structure.

Those early and mid-90s Giants featured a lot of Kirt Manwaring who was probably considered by some people to be the team's heart and soul. Matt Williams was a player on them who was good, and in the strike year his pursuit of Roger Maris' home-run record was interrupted, as if anyone would give a shit about that today. That year Williams was supposed to break the dinger record and the Expos were supposed to be something. I was nine. Another player who was good was Robby Thompson, and a player who wasn't so good was Darren Lewis. Bill Swift was probably all right and Rod Beck was a mean-looking closer who turned out to be a real softy. Somewhere around here came William VanLandingham, and he was known more for his name than for his pitching, a lot like Trystan Magnuson and Blake Hawksworth. The Giants were probably general managed by Brian Sabean because fuck if I know, and the whole idea was to let Barry Bonds play baseball, surrounded by a cast of whoevers. It did pretty good, to be honest.

The Giants played in Candlestick Park, which was much bigger than the name would imply. The stadium was interesting in that, while it was supposedly located in San Francisco, it was actually constructed on a distant ice planet accessible by imperceptible wormhole, and the ice planet's swirling winds were measured in megaknots. The ballpark was equipped with a fog horn that would blare or do whatever it is that fog horns do after Giants home runs, but no one could ever hear it over the sound of the wind shrieking through the corridors and desolate bleachers. Oftentimes trash would blow around on the field, and Marvin Benard would try to eat it, which Dusty Baker encouraged because the overeager pursuit was the only thing keeping Benard in what we can even identify as a shape. Based on personal memory, Candlestick Park handed out too many J.T. Snow growth posters and too few blankets or space heaters or fire pits with kindling. I forgot to note that J.T. Snow was on the Giants for a time, and he seemed very nice.

Frustration mounted as the Giants kept not winning the World Series. But they were consistently good, with Bonds hitting dingers and Jeff Kent providing unexpected production and Rich Aurilia flipping out once. Bill Mueller was on the Giants and he was a line-drive machine in between all of the outs that he made. On the mound, there was new blood like Russ Ortiz and Shawn Estes whose walk problems have been forgotten in order for people to blame Baker for ruining them with overuse. In one of the years around the turn of the millennium, Kirk Rueter struck a batter out. Rod Beck at some point yielded to Robb Nen as the Giants continued to employ a seven-letter closer. Robb Nen had a really good pitch but I forget what it was. It was probably a slider, and it was probably overrated.

I just remembered Chris Brock and Chad Zerbe(sp?). Anyway, in 2000, the Giants changed stadiums, to a nicer place named after a telephone company. Soon, though, it would be re-named after a telephone company, and then it would be re-named again, this time after a telephone company. My memory tells me the park was entirely privately-funded, but that would've been news before I gave a shit about ballpark economics, so I can't swear by it. In some way, I think the Giants did a neat thing for the city, in that they didn't punch the city in the windpipe and push it down the stairs. The park was on the water, and curiously it's in San Francisco by day and on the old familiar ice planet by night. People started making a habit of hanging out outside the stadium in boats, because as fun as it is to attend a live baseball game, it's more fun to float. Some of those people have dogs, some of those people go after baseballs, and some of those people have dogs that go after baseballs.

In 2002 the Giants were a very good team and they went all the way to the World Series even though they had Tsuyoshi Shinjo on them. They were even in position to win the World Series until they decided not to without consulting anyone else. Thanks to the Giants, Scott Spiezio got all big-headed, which was a net negative for the world, and Anaheim fans took on an air of self-importance and entitlement. It was the Giants who allowed the Angels to become baseball's most obnoxious team, and for that the Giants would be punished eventually. First they got to have a couple more good years and lose. I guess that could've been part of the karmic punishment. Barry Bonds set the all-time home-run record. I should put that somewhere. He also set the other all-time home-run record. Bonds' career ultimately ended when he was still one of the very greatest hitters in baseball, but now I'm getting way too far ahead of myself. The year before Bonds couldn't find a job, he made something like 50% outs, and therefore about 50% non-outs. This is where everyone decided to take a stand.

Lean years hit, after the extraordinary run of sustained success, which is usually the way it works. You could think of them as the Pedro Feliz years, or the Noah Lowry years. I was almost going to call them the Michael Tucker years but I can't remember for sure whether or not Tucker was ever actually a Giant. It just seems like he was, in that retread-y way. The Giants looked like an organization without direction, but then they made their statement by signing Barry Zito for seven years. The Giants were not good, and then they out-bid the Mariners to sign Zito for $126 million. A few years later they won the first of two world championships. Don't even pretend like this team has made any sense.

Young pitching was supposed to guide the Giants back to relevance - young pitching around the Zito obelisk - and the Giants snagged Tim Lincecum in the draft while also snagging Matt Cain somewhere else in probably a different draft. Lincecum blew up the Internet before the Internet was ready to be blown up by an uberprospect, and I'll never forget watching his MLB debut against whoever it was. I remember that Lincecum looked mostly good and I remember thinking there couldn't be a better fit for San Francisco, so I had the sense he could work as a regional superstar. Lincecum had success in ways that were obvious. Cain had success in ways that were more difficult to understand, but that's continued to this day and I'm going to skip over the part where statheads tried to figure Cain out and couldn't. I should note that the Giants also gave Aaron Rowand a lot of money. Bad team, plus Zito, plus Rowand, then championship. It's easy to explain how it all came together for the Giants, so long as you ignore the several elephants in the room.

The Giants started featuring more of a fat version of Vladimir Guerrero who was still good somehow despite every reason to assume otherwise and around a couple more young building blocks, the foundation for the 2010 title run was set. Madison Bumgarner showed up to pitch and Buster Posey showed up to catch and hit, and around the good young players the Giants added pretty bad older players who all collectively overachieved. Those Giants only slipped into the playoffs because the what-the-actual-fuck Padres came undone at the end, and in the playoffs Cody Ross hit all the hits while Brian Wilson threw all the pitches except for the pitches that Lincecum threw. Also the Giants didn't actually want to add Ross during the season and only ended up with him by mistake. Without that mistake maybe the Giants don't win it all, eliminating the Rangers. The Giants championship provided reason for hope to everybody.

I don't remember what happened in 2011 but the Giants didn't win it all and Posey got obliterated by some idiot and I guess that says enough. Was that the year Ryan Vogelsong emerged as a complete and utter miracle? Vogelsong was bad, then bad and older, then bad and older, then good in the major leagues for no reason. In 2012 the Giants won the championship again because why wouldn't the Barry Zito Era deserve a couple of championships? This time it made a little more sense, except that Lincecum was bad and Hunter Pence was acquired and he was bad and Melky Cabrera was really awesome up until he got suspended for taking the wrong drugs. If memory serves, these Giants actually had a slightly below-average pitching staff, destroying the narrative that the Giants rode their arms to a title, but there was Marco Scutaro who batted approximately something greater than 1.000. Zito pitched in the playoffs and he didn't allow runs and he beat Justin Verlander in the World Series because fuck you, science.

In the first round the Giants fell behind two games to zero. In the second round the Giants fell behind three games to one. In the World Series, Barry Zito beat Justin Verlander, and the Giants swept the Tigers in four. The playoffs featured a comical Buster Posey grand slam off of Mat Latos in Cincinnati, and Posey watched it sail, and Latos was upset, and you don't know how good baseball has been to you. Look at how good baseball has been to you, Giants fans. You have all of these memories and all of this successful nonsense. Baseball keeps us humble by reminding us every single day that we're stupid and stupidly over-confident in ourselves. But baseball doesn't keep you humble. I feel like baseball has Giants fans feeling rather bulletproof.

In 2013 Lincecum still can't pitch and now Cain can't pitch and Vogelsong can't pitch and the Giants are alone in first place. On Wednesday, they blew a save in the ninth and then walked off in the tenth. Barry Zito kept his ERA under 3. Fucking whatever.

Lookout Landed

2013-03-12T23:30:44Z

For a guy who makes his living as a professional writer, I don't know a whole lot about quality writing. This is one of the reasons I don't like to self-identify as a writer, not that "blogger" is any better. But I do know that, when reporting news, you're supposed to lead with the substance. This is why they call it the "lead", or the "lede" if you want to seem smarter. With that in mind, my lede: this is my final post for Lookout Landing.

I've thought about writing this post a bunch of times before. I thought about writing this post when I interviewed for a job with a baseball team. I thought about writing this post when I interviewed for what turned out not to be a job with a baseball team. I thought about writing this post when I applied for a job with an area brewery. I thought about writing this post during ordinary downtime, and I thought about writing this post during my most stressful, latest nights. I always figured this post would have to be something sensational, but the more I think about it, the more I think that isn't necessary. That would be nothing but a masturbatory exercise, and nobody ever masturbates on the Internet.

The bottom line is that it's time to cut back. When I left Baseball Nation, that was because there was an opportunity for me at FanGraphs. I'm not leaving Lookout Landing for another opportunity. I'm just going to do less, and this has absolutely nothing to do with SB Nation or Vox Media. This was one of the first blogs in the network, launching in January 2005, and this network gave me an opportunity to turn a hobby into something more. This network trusted me, this network took care of me, and this network gave me my first full-time job as an Internet writer. This network is going to continue to grow and it's going to accomplish spectacular things, and that progress isn't going to stop just because they're down a Mariners blogger. I don't know where I'd be without SB Nation, and I owe those guys more than I can express.

But I started blogging about the Mariners in November 2003, when I was a freshman in college. Since then, almost every day, I've written about the Mariners. Since then, every regular season, I've stayed up to watch Mariners games and write too much about them too late at night. That's nine regular seasons of midnight recaps -- nine negative run differential regular seasons -- spanning the entirety of my adulthood to date. It's time to see what it's like to be an adult without that responsibility. It's time to try to become more of a well-rounded person. (#YOLO) You know what I don't know about? Lots of things. I'd like to start changing that.

This place was, for a while, a true labor of love. In conversation I'd refer to LL as my baby, and I couldn't dream of giving it up. When I graduated, I told myself I wanted to see where writing might go before I applied to more school. Writing took me to writing for a living, and I remember the phone call where I was offered an actual job. I was in San Diego, and it was raining, and I was in the parking lot of some company that wasn't my company. I actually screamed. My hobby was going to turn into my work.

But that comes with its attendant upsides and downsides. LL has been a side job, but it's felt a lot like my regular job. When you turn a hobby into work, you sort of lose the hobby. For a while, LL hasn't served as a hobby; it's served as an extension of what I do, and it's at the point where that's just become too much writing, too much baseball. I haven't had time to develop other hobbies. I know that I could still run this place, but I know I've never been less motivated to do that. I don't see that turning around with the season around the corner.

I'm not going to abandon Mariners writing entirely. I don't think I'm capable of that -- the Mariners are still my favorite team. I'm just going to do less of it, and beginning at some point in the future, I'm going to be doing it at USS Mariner instead. By cutting back, I think it might start to feel like a hobby again, and it was USSM that inspired me to start blogging in the first place. I'm sure I had the option of cutting back and staying here, but I didn't want to take a reduced role on my own site. I'll write about the Mariners at USS Mariner, and I just won't write as much. I won't write recaps unless I actually feel inspired. And I'll focus more on my day job, and on other pursuits.

I'll still be on Twitter, although depending on legal things I might have to start up a new account. I'll let Matthew speak to his own situation. And Lookout Landing will continue to exist -- it will be placed in the capable hands of someone. The search is ongoing, and I'm only peripherally involved. If you'd like a shot, send the network an email, I'm sure they'd like to hear from you. This is still going to be the same website as before. It's just that all of the words will be different.

To be honest, in this age of taking on more and more responsibility, it is absolutely terrifying to willingly and intentionally do less, in a professional sense. I don't know what this is going to mean for my career. Some time back I remember reading about a guy who was going to go off the grid for a calendar year. This is a guy who had been making his living on the Internet. I don't know what happened to him. I have no way of knowing whether this is the right move, but this feels like the healthy move, and you have to look out for #1. Life is about more than work, and though that's presently less true than it's ever been in America, I'm not exactly gunning to be a millionaire. I just want to scrape by and be happy and this is an attempt to see what this is like.

You guys have been amazing. Amazing and supportive and numerous, and if it weren't for you guys, I'd be doing something completely different. This was a big part of my identity, and you guys have been a big part of this. I can't thank you individually, but please close your eyes and imagine that I'm doing just that. Through this site I've met some incredible people and some incredible friends. I look forward, now, to seeing them more often. I look forward to hanging out with some of you and just watching a Mariners game, without having to think about what I'm going to write in an hour. I look forward, basically, to mental freedom, and all of its implications. Or I guess many of them. Some of them might be scary.

In conclusion, Johan Santana won the Cy Young Award in 2004 and 2006. In February 2008, the Twins traded him to the Mets, and the Mets promptly signed him to a contract worth nearly $140 million. In 2008, Santana would finish with a 2.53 ERA in 34 starts, finishing third in the Cy Young voting. On June 23 that summer, Santana pitched against the hapless Mariners. Though the Mariners had Felix Hernandez on the mound, they also had a 26-49 record, worst in baseball. Santana worked a scoreless first. In the second, however, he loaded the bases with two outs, yet the pitcher spot was due up. Felix Hernandez closed his eyes when he swung at Santana's first pitch. He drove it to the opposite field, and it carried over the fence for a grand slam. In 2008, when Johan Santana was still Johan Santana, Felix Hernandez got him for a first-pitch grand slam. That doesn't have anything to do with my announcement, but, holy fuck.

3/12: Spring Training Open Game Thread

2013-03-12T19:06:52Z

Anthony Fernandez has been reassigned to minor-league camp. Anthony Fernandez was never going to stick around long in major-league camp. Anthony Fernandez can still show up in major-league camp if necessary. Today's news is hardly news. But it had its own press release and everything! Anthony Fernandez was the subject of a major-league press release. Good on you, Anthony Fernandez. There is a baseball game.

Details:

MARINERS
AGAINST DIAMONDBACKS
AT HOME IN PEORIA
1:05pm Pacific
Gameday link
broadcast on the radio on a tape delay and audio streamed online for free

The Mariners' starting lineup:

Jason Bay, RF
Dustin Ackley, 2B
Kendrys Morales, 1B
Justin Smoak, DH
Eric Thames, LF
Jesus Montero, C
Brad Miller, 3B
Julio Morban, CF
Brendan Ryan, SS

Brad Miller batted ninth when he played shortstop. Brendan Ryan bats ninth when he plays shortstop. Ryan is a big leaguer, and Miller is a minor leaguer. Today Miller is not playing shortstop, so therefore Miller isn't batting ninth, even though, whatever, maybe Ryan is comfortable in and familiar with the basement. Jason Bay has never led off before in the bigs. That might be more meaningful if it weren't the middle of March and if this lineup didn't have Brad Miller and Julio Morban in it. I'm guessing this is less about Bay batting first, and more about Dustin Ackley batting second. These are things that matter to managers.

Starting for the Mariners on the mound will be Felix Hernandez. Starting for the Diamondbacks will be Felix Hernandez's opponents. Tough break, Arizona. Scheduled to pitch after Felix will be sweet, sweet relief.

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Mariners Reduce Number Of Mariners

2013-03-11T02:20:09Z

A common stereotype of Seattle is that the people there are generally passive-aggressive. Stereotypes, of course, paint black-and-white pictures, meaning stereotypes paint inaccurate pictures, but it's certainly possible the city of Seattle is more passive-aggressive than most other big cities in the US. A passive-aggressive way of managing spring-training roster cuts would be to not cut anyone until the very last day, but to progressively field fewer and fewer of the players on hand. People wouldn't be officially cut; they'd just stop playing in games. On Sunday, the Mariners took a more direct approach, cutting players instead of just benching them. Four players have been cut without being passive-aggressively cut, which literally no one does. So it would be weird if Seattle did that.

Chance Ruffin. Ruffin allowed three runs in three innings this spring, with six hits and two walks. These numbers are meaningless. As recently as 2010, Ruffin was technically a first-round draft pick. The Mariners selected him on purpose in the Doug Fister trade, and in 2011 with Seattle he made 13 appearances. Last year with Seattle he made zero appearances, and he had 35 walks and 54 strikeouts with Tacoma in more than 70 innings. The wrong conclusion: Ruffin is done, because relievers are volatile. The right conclusion: Ruffin is not done, because relievers are volatile. Maybe he's toast! Maybe this year Ruffin puts himself back on the organizational map! Who knows! Relievers are volatile! Relievers are like benzene, only perhaps more highly carcinogenic.
Brian Moran. Moran allowed zero runs in four innings this spring, with three hits and one walk. These numbers are meaningless. Moran is a lefty reliever, which the Mariners don't need right now, and he also has underwhelming raw stuff, but he's 24 and he just struck out 37 percent of opponents in triple-A so he could be an actual big-league reliever in a hurry. Moran is probably better than a lot of guys who'll be in major-league bullpens this April and May. He's good depth to have in the system.
Jonathan Arias. Arias allowed two runs in four innings this spring, with three hits and one walk. These numbers are meaningless. I don't know a single thing about him. Apparently he's been in the system for years. Baseball-Reference tells me he's a converted position player, who hit two professional home runs. He caught, so he must have a strong arm and a live fastball and questionable secondary stuff. Arias might become nothing or something. Who knows! Relievers are volatile!
D.J. Mitchell. Mitchell allowed two runs in 4.1 innings this spring, with one hit and three walks. These numbers are meaningless. Mitchell is a mid-rotation starter in triple-A, meaning he's not of much value to the organization, but he's the sort of guy who can help keep Mike Curto sane over the course of a long, dinger-happy summer, so he's far from worthless. Nobody wants an insane Mike Curto. Just call D.J. Mitchell "The Therapist". And if Mitchell eventually becomes a reliever, then who knows! Relievers are volatile!

These players were cut not by the Mariners organization, but from the Mariners' major-league spring training, meaning they've been re-assigned to minor-league spring training. They're still Mariners property; they'll just have to pack their bags and go on a very short trip to a presumably neighboring clubhouse.

Also for whatever it's worth, in other Sunday news, Michael Saunders was named the MVP of his World Baseball Classic pool, even though Team Canada was eliminated. Saunders flipped the hell out in three games and today he hit a dinger in a losing cause against the US. The WBC Pool D Most Valuable Player Award, I imagine, is a small rubber hand giving a thumbs-up.

3/10: Spring Training Open Game Thread

2013-03-10T20:00:20Z

Yesterday the Mariners played a baseball game and today the Mariners will play a baseball game and tomorrow the Mariners will not play a baseball game and Tuesday the Mariners will play a baseball game and most days from now through the end of September the Mariners will play a baseball game and we'll pay attention to a lot of them and the Mariners will win a lot of them and the Mariners will lose a lot of them and when it's all over there will probably still be more baseball games, competed in by other baseball teams. Sometimes it's healthy to take the big-picture perspective, and sometimes taking the big-picture perspective reveals the picture to be remarkably uninspiring. A rubber band is a hell of a lot more interesting on a molecular level than on the overall, familiar level.

Details:

MARINERS
AGAINST WHITE SOX
AT HOME IN PEORIA
1:05pm Pacific
Gameday link
broadcast on the radio and audio streamed online

The Mariners' starting lineup:

Kyle Seager, 2B
Jason Bay, LF
Raul Ibanez, DH
Michael Morse, 1B
Carlos Peguero, RF
Kelly Shoppach, C
Julio Morban, CF
Robert Andino, 3B
Brad Miller, SS

Now, today, it's the full-strength Mariners taking on the split-squad White Sox, but from the looks of things the Mariners are doing the White Sox a favor by also fielding something of a split-squad lineup. Seager and Andino swap defensive positions because they're supposed to be somewhat versatile, and you can't just be versatile in theory. Morse goes to first base because you know who isn't a guarantee to be worth half a damn? Justin Smoak! And the Mariners think of Kendrys Morales as a DH and Raul Ibanez isn't a first baseman. So it behooves the M's to give Morse some first-base reps because you never know when that might become the necessary alignment.

Starting for the Mariners on the mound will be Andrew Carraway, who Seattle drafted in the 12th round in 2009. Three players from that Mariners draft so far have reached the major leagues: Dustin Ackley, Kyle Seager, and Anthony Vasquez. So for the rest of his life, Andrew Carraway gets to remember he didn't make it to the majors as quickly as Anthony Vasquez did. Carraway's strength is that he's familiar with the act of pitching, which he hopes to leverage to his advantage today and all days.

After Carraway will be Taijuan Walker, in a PITCHf/x-equipped ballpark, and we're still at the point where it's interesting to monitor Walker's PITCHf/x readings. Walker's last outing was bad, and what we'd like is for Walker's outings to be good. Hopefully today Walker has a good outing. To be honest hopefully today all the Mariners pitchers have good outings. The last names of the first three scheduled White Sox pitchers today are Axelrod, Omogrosso, and Snodgress. So those are players.

Mariners news of actual significance: Josh Kinney has developed a stress reaction in his side, and he'll be shut down for some while. A stress reaction, if left to its own devices, will turn into a stress fracture, which is worse. It's not a sure thing that Kinney will be unavailable for opening day, but it's the likelihood, and since Kinney was basically guaranteed to have a bullpen job, this should open up a job for someone else, if only briefly. I've been operating under the guesstimated assumption that Kameron Loe will get a job and Stephen Pryor will go to the minors. Pryor, now, could stick, or someone else could stick, like Carson Smith. But there are a lot of ways the Mariners could go with this, so the main message is that the door's open for another roster contender now. Kinney shouldn't be out long, but he could be out long enough for someone to have a hope of making a positive impression.

Jesus Montero Hits A Triple

2013-03-09T22:50:09Z

Once you reach physical maturity, your speed starts to decline. That's not true for everyone, but it's true in general. Last November, Jesus Montero turned 23 years old, and he's a professional athlete at the highest level in the world. In a cup of coffee with the Yankees in 2011, Montero hit zero triples, and stole zero bases. Over a full season with the Mariners in 2012, Montero hit zero triples, and stole zero bases. Just three times out of 25 has Montero advanced from first to third on a single. Montero, statistically, has been one of baseball's very worst baserunners, because Montero has been woefully slow. This despite being so young of age.

We've laughed about Montero spending the offseason "learning how to run". People should know how to run just from having been born and growing up. Nobody ever taught me how to run -- I just ran because I knew how to run, because I knew how to walk faster. I told my body "go faster" and my body responded and that was the end of that. As laughable as the situation was, though, Montero wasn't just slow; he had miserable, inexplicably stiff, upright form. Somehow, Montero didn't how how to run, and so there was promise that, with instruction, he could get a tiny bit faster. Running was a sad problem for Montero to have, but problems get addressed. The Mariners and Montero identified something that Montero could do better.

So Montero got to work. He's expressed happiness with the results of his work. And, in a B game against the Padres earlier on Saturday, Jesus Montero hit a triple. A legitimate triple, against legitimate professionals, off the wall, that didn't involve any defensive miscues. Montero went from home to third without stopping, and his safe arrival is a demonstration of hard work paying off. A year ago, Jesus Montero couldn't have hit a triple. Jesus Montero learned how to run, and he hit a triple that didn't have an asterisk.

The only problem? While journalists were on hand, they claimed there wasn't any video. Video, of course, is the only proof. How could we know for sure that Montero hit a triple if we couldn't watch it for ourselves? Thankfully, I've pulled some strings. There were people filming after all, and, below, witness for yourself Jesus Montero hitting a legitimate triple against the San Diego Padres on Saturday, March 9. This, officially, happened.

Jesus Montero on his triple in the B game: "It's like a dream for me"
— Larry Stone (@StoneLarry) March 9, 2013

3/9: Spring Training Open Game Thread

2013-03-09T20:07:01Z

[Stupid mindless intro words.] Details:

MARINERS
AGAINST DODGERS
ON THE ROAD AT CAMELBACK RANCH
12:05pm Pacific
Gameday link
broadcast on the radio and audio streamed online

The Mariners' starting lineup:

Franklin Gutierrez, CF
Kyle Seager, 3B
Kendrys Morales, DH
Michael Morse, RF
Raul Ibanez, "LF"
Justin Smoak, 1B
Dustin Ackley, 2B
Jesus Sucre, C
Brendan Ryan, SS

The starting pitchers:

Jon Garland
Aaron Harang

Due to follow Garland, maybe:

Anthony Fernandez
Jonathan Arias
Brian Moran
Yoervis Medina
Bobby LaFromboise
Carson Smith
D.J. Mitchell

In an earlier B game, Jason Bay launched a dinger to the opposite field. More importantly and more notably and more significantly and more everything, Jesus Montero hit a triple. It was not a double and a potential error. It did not involve an outfielder collision, it did not involve an outfielder falling down, and it did not involve anybody's death or incapacitation. Jesus Montero hit a legitimate triple against a legitimate group of professional and highly talented position players. There exists no video footage, which might be for the best, because I don't think any one of us is prepared to see that highlight. This is one of those things that might be best left to the imagination.

Mariners Technically Not Whomped By A's

2013-03-09T02:37:39Z

People were aware even Thursday that there might not be Mariners spring-training baseball on Friday. Ultimately, the records will show that there was not Mariners spring-training baseball on Friday, just as suspected. The Mariners were scheduled to take on the Athletics, at home in Peoria, and Hector Noesi was scheduled to pitch opposite A.J. Griffin for a few innings, but years from now there will be no evidence that any action ever took place this day. The Mariners woke up 11-3, and they'll go to bed with the same record. The A's woke up 6-6, and they'll go to bed with the same inferior and pathetic record. So! Nothing to discuss, then.

Except for the part where before this game was called off it was 12-1 Oakland in the top of the fourth. Oh, the A's scored against relievers. They scored against Chance Ruffin, and they scored against whoever the hell Jhonny Nunez is. But most of those runs were scored against Noesi, who lasted all of two innings. A strong wind blowing out did Noesi no favors, but then it's not like Noesi is deserving of a favor. Noesi's pitching also did him no favors.

You might think the rainout would be good news for Noesi, since it erases his statistics. Better to be rained out than to have the game official, after what Noesi did. But, the whole Mariners coaching staff was on hand to watch Noesi pitch horribly, and that won't soon be forgotten. Official statistics or not, Noesi further cemented his negative impression. And Mariners fans are already just about out of patience so one outing wasn't going to change anything. Noesi isn't going to poll better with fans now than he would if his numbers went in the books. Today there were no positives, except that, in some years, people will have forgotten about this, and they'll leave this performance out when analyzing Noesi's spring-training performances over time. That is, naturally, if Noesi is still part of a spring training down the line.

In some ways it doesn't matter. Noesi was never going to make this pitching staff out of camp, not without a series of devastating car accidents. There's no room for Noesi in the bullpen, and there are too many candidates ahead of him for the rotation. Noesi's been ticketed for triple-A, and then the team will pay attention to how he does there. The next move will be determined by how Noesi does as a Rainier, and people won't remember his spring training come June or whenever. Regardless of Noesi's camp, he was almost certainly going to end up in the same place.

But, just a year ago, I was excited about Noesi. I was excited when I learned of him as the second piece in the Jesus Montero trade. He was a live arm who threw a lot of strikes in the upper minors. He looked like he could be at least a half-decent starter right away, with certain upside. In 12 months -- really, 11 months -- I've grown sick of him. It's partly an overreaction, because Noesi's entire career isn't toast and he still has upside left, but he's plummeted with extraordinary speed. Noesi hasn't just fallen off a cliff -- he's jumped off a cliff with a jetpack and propelled himself straight down.

Remember buying popsicles? You might still buy popsicles if you have kids, or if you like popsicles. I'll always remember the popsicles that had jokes written on the flat wooden sticks, and you'd get the punchline after you finished the popsicle. Every time, I'd look forward to the popsicle, and I'd look forward to the joke. Every time, the popsicle was delicious, and the joke was a letdown. It'd be some stupid shit that wouldn't make a six-year-old laugh and that'd make a 16-year-old roll his eyes right out of his head. "How do pigs talk?" "Swine language." Fuck you. Popsicles are like the Jesus Montero trade, where Montero is the popsicle, and Noesi is the joke. I keep waiting for Noesi to not suck, but after this amount of time maybe I'm the problem.

Noesi allowed seven runs in two frames against Oakland, six of them earned. There were five hits, there were two walks, there was a hit batter, and there was a wild pitch with the bases loaded. There were three home runs, and while Seth Smith's homer in the first was wind-aided, Josh Donaldson's homer right afterward wasn't, and Josh Donaldson's homer in the second wasn't, really. Two of the homers came on fastballs, and one came on a two-strike slider too far up and too much over the plate. There were a couple doubles, although apparently one of them should've been caught were it not for an outfield miscommunication between Franklin Gutierrez and somebody worse. Between a strong wind and some lousy defense, Noesi didn't get help, but external conditions weren't what made Noesi's outing a disaster. They just made it more disastrous.

Maybe things'll sink in for Noesi if he keeps getting his ass kicked. Maybe this is all just a necessary part of the humbling process, or maybe Noesi is just working on things and trying to get to 100 percent. But Noesi, right now, will have to truly earn his way back into the Mariners' good graces. I was going to say Noesi will have to truly earn his way back into the majors, but then I remembered there could be a horrible accident, or he could get traded to Houston. Noesi could end up back in the majors through little fault of his own.

After Noesi came out, Ruffin allowed a homer, and Nunez allowed a homer, and shortly after that last homer the game was called. Here are some pictures of Mariner player body language after Oakland home runs. The only one missing is Donaldson's second, for which the video won't download.

I can't really tell what the umpire is doing in #3 but maybe he just felt like doing some wind sprints. It's never a bad time to exercise and it's not like he'd have to umpire anything for about a minute or so.

For the Mariners at the plate, Casper Wells did hit a dinger, accounting for all of the offense in the three innings the Mariners hit. Wells' dinger will also be erased, just like all the homers Noesi allowed, but Wedge was there to see it and Wells didn't hurt his roster case. When Wells returned to the dugout, the first person to congratulate him was apparently Jay Buhner, which, okay:

At some point it's going to be weird having all these ex-Mariners around and at some point it's going to be weird having Jay Buhner act like he's still just one of the guys. But I can't remember where I was going with this and I can't think of a reasonable joke so it's time to talk a little bit about sad Stefen Romero news. Here's Romero attempting a swing at a pitch:

Romero would later be pulled from the game with what was diagnosed as a strained oblique. The Mariners haven't given a timetable yet, and people always hope these things will be day-to-day, but the reality of oblique strains is that we're talking about weeks of downtime. You can't play through them and you don't want to risk making them worse. They're just awful and they're everywhere and Romero's spring training is probably just about over. You just don't rush back from a strained oblique of any real severity. It's not like Romero was about to crack the big-league roster, so this isn't that sort of opportunity lost, but this is a lost opportunity for Romero to impress the big-league coaching staff, and it's never bad for a minor leaguer to have the big-league coaches paying attention to him. Alas, Romero will be fine in some weeks, and his minor-league season should get underway with little delay. He didn't just sidetrack his whole year, but now his year has begun with perhaps the most annoying of injuries. Better an oblique, I guess, than a wrist, which was my first concern.

And that's how you write 1,400 words about three and a half innings of a spring-training game that didn't count. Tomorrow some Mariners will play a B game that no one will pay attention to, and later some more Mariners will play the Dodgers in a game more people will pay attention to. But Jon Garland is starting so try not to pay too much attention, because we have only so much attention to give, and you don't want to give too much of it to something involving Jon Garland. Then you might find you're shorthanded at, say, a child's birthday, or in a crisis situation. "THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE! WHY AREN'T YOU DOING ANYTHING!" "I PAID TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO JON GARLAND ON SATURDAY" "JESUS WHAT WERE YOU THINKING"