And then you read this amazing passage from Evan Grant in the Dallas Morning News:
By mid-day Friday, Seattle had heard that some team bid nine years and $225 million for Robinson Cano, so the Mariners upped their bid to $240 million and 10 years before apparently realizing the initial bid had come from themselves, too.
The Mariners became their own mystery team, and they set out to defeat the mystery team. Alas, they were the mystery team, and the mystery team was they. This sounds like an apocryphal, too-good-to-be-true anecdote, like the one about Rickey Henderson and John Olerud.
But, sure, I'll believe it. Once the story's out there, it's not going away, and if you repeat it enough, it becomes true. The Mariners just rabbit-season/duck-seasoned themselves, and it cost them $15 million. Other than that, the organization is doing swell, thanks for asking.
Edit: Apocryphal, dang it:
@lonestarball more tongue in cheek, but they had bid 225/9 and nobody came close, then went 10/240— Evan Grant (@Evan_P_Grant) December 9, 2013