This is like a sci-fi movie, where birds start dropping from the sky, and scientists are running around, trying to figure out what's going on. POSITION PLAYERS ARE PITCHING, everyone. It's an epidemic. A glorious, beautiful epidemic.
Earlier this week, Jamey Carroll pitched. On Thursday, Ryan Raburn pitched. And on Friday, the Pirates' Josh Harrison pitched. It wasn't just the typical mop-up inning, either. He was put in the game with two runners on and two outs in the eighth. Sure, it was a blowout, but he still had to save Jared Hughes's ERA. He had a job to do.
He did it. I'm not sure how, but he did it. On a scale of Jose Canseco (what are you doing) to Chris Davis (dat change!), Harrison is much closer to Canseco. He topped out at 75, but he is now tied for the all-time record in hits allowed, home runs allowed, career batting average against, career home runs against, and ERA.
He has a lower career ERA than Greg Maddux and Pedro Martinez, you know.
This is the first position player to pitch for the Pirates since Abraham Nunez in 2004. Pretty big news, everyone. Clint Hurdle was so happy that he was a normal color.
Good work, all around. Except for you, Corey Dickerson. Apparently, you're awful. That wasn't even a pitcher.